All the buttons on this page are not yet live. Thanks for your understanding! —Coach Shelly
Divorce is overwhelming — emotionally, financially, legally. With so much vying for your attention, where do you even begin?
My answer: Start with your finances.
All your other decisions will flow from knowing the resources you and your spouse have available to you.
How much there is to divide.
How much you’re able and willing to spend on your divorce process.
How much each of you will need to fund a fulfilling life after divorce.
This is why I created the Finances First Framework.
Follow my framework — step by step — in order to:
Reduce the overwhelm you’re feeling.
Make key decisions in a logical order.
Focus on the reality of your situation, not what anyone else says your divorce should be like.
If you’re ready to start feeling in control of your financial future, you’re in the right place!
In my Introductory Strategy Series of six 1:1 coaching sessions, we cover the five key components of the Finances First Framework, with a bonus session for extra support.
“I really appreciate our sessions and it’s so nice to experience support in a positive way—I hadn’t realized how much I had NOT been receiving support!”
What to do F.I.R.S.T.? I’ve got you covered.
My Finances First Framework uses the acronym F.I.R.S.T. The following five topics are covered in our six sessions, typically in this order.
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Before we dive into the numbers, we explore how are you feeling about the separation, the money, and your future. From here on out, we face forward, because that’s where you’re going.
We do a vision exercise to help you imagine your life a few years after the divorce. I need to know where you are now and where you want to go — because we can't plan your route without a destination to aim for. -
This is the part where we take stock of what you own and what you owe. We create an initial inventory of your financial accounts, property, and significant assets — from retirement accounts to real estate, cars to collectibles. I give you feedback on the complexity of your situation. I provide customized checklists and templates to make this as organized and manageable as possible.
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For most couples, their home and retirement savings (and maybe a business) are their biggest assets. This is where we note what was acquired and earned during your marriage (“community property”) versus what could be considered “separate property.” We also consider the tax implications of dividing these “R” assets. This isn’t just about splitting things down the middle; it’s about understanding the impact of the choices.
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Child or spousal support — or both — may be merited in your divorce. Here we look at your cash flow needs and get realistic about your post-divorce lifestyle. While Washington State has a formula for child support, spousal support (aka “maintenance”) is more nuanced. I help you with a preliminary budget and understanding of your rights and responsibilities, so you can negotiate a fair support agreement. We’ll also discuss who can stay on whose health insurance and for how long.
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Here, we consider the timing of your divorce, including any significant milestones like the ages and stages of your children, career trajectories, tax filings, etc. We go over the various routes to divorce in Washington State. We also discuss building the right divorce team — the professionals who will support you through your chosen process. A divorce budget is drafted based on your choices.
(Spoiler alert: I believe starting with a financially-focused divorce coach and figuring out HOW you want to divorce before hiring an attorney is a smart, cost-effective move!)
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What else needs to be addressed in your divorce? If you have children aged 18 or younger, we discuss the need for a parenting plan and resources to guide you. If you are planning to live apart for a while before your divorce is finalized, we strategize how to set up two households and split costs. We can examine optimal tax filing strategies before and after divorce, or explore how ex-spouse Social Security benefits may work on your behalf. Or we’ll take an extra session to dive deeper into one of the five topics above.
Your investment in yourself and your future: $1,997
Utilize the 6 sessions within 6 weeks or 6 months ~ we work within your timeline!
For a fraction of an attorney’s retainer fee, invest in these 1:1 strategy sessions and start your divorce off on the right foot. Yes, you likely need an attorney on your team — but let’s figure out the most cost-effective way to get you good legal counsel.
Completing my Finances First Framework strategy series gives you the building blocks you will need for your divorce process.
You can take these to your attorney and be welcomed as a model client.
Or you can take them to your kitchen table and present a clear, fair proposal to your spouse.
(And if you aren’t in full agreement, I can suggest mediators who will get you there.)
NOTE: If you and your spouse are committed to being amicable and cooperative, these strategy sessions may be utilized as a couple. If this is your situation, let’s get on a three-way consultation and assess the likelihood of a successful outcome.
What’s included in the Finances First strategy series:
✅ Six personalized 1:1 coaching sessions (via Zoom) — each up to 90 minutes in length, structured yet flexible.
✅ Customized checklists, templates, and tools to simplify gathering your financial information.
✅ An inventory and initial analysis of your assets and liabilities, and potential tax implications of division.
✅ Guidance on understanding child support calculations and spousal support variables.
✅ Strategic planning for timelines, critical decisions, and building your ideal divorce team.
✅ Email support between sessions for questions and accountability, and for 30 days after your final session.
You’ll walk away with clarity on your financial picture so you can make informed decisions; strategies for saving time, stress and money in your divorce process; and a proposal you’re comfortable sharing.
Why start with my Finances First Framework?
Before you commit to a hefty retainer fee, make sure you’re crystal clear on your finances, the complexity of your situation, and the desired outcome for your divorce.
I’ve been financial coaching since 2019, but when I got divorced myself, I realized with startling clarity that understanding the money is the key. Now I guide divorcing clients through this financial framework — so they can approach their separation and divorce with clarity, calm, and confidence.
The ultimate goal? A financial settlement you won’t later regret. Allow me to be your “thinking partner” in this critical life transition: explaining new concepts, pointing out your blind spots, suggesting creative solutions.
“Coach Shelly’s approach is exactly what I was looking for. I like to think I’m financially savvy, but this [divorce] is a new area for me. For example, I didn’t know anything about Social Security divorced spouse benefits!
Shelly is so organized and efficient, and she manages to make even these hard topics interesting.”
“That was such a supportive & informative meeting this morning! I will be reaching out to make appointments with each of these three lawyers. Thanks so much for the referrals.”
If you’re thinking the Finances First Framework may the right fit for you, check out the F.I.R.S.T. FAQ and my general FAQ. If you have an unanswered question, please book a complimentary Q&A call. Let's make sure this is your next best step.
I promise — you can do this. And I'm here to help.
All the buttons on this page are not yet live. Thanks for your understanding! —Coach Shelly
